Untimely Vacations
by Telling One
Summary: Steven's simple trip to Sinnoh gets blown out of proportion when his best friend tags along with him to examine a rock with Roark. Whatever could be so exciting? Plenty, in fact, especially when they get lost in the Old Chateau. Crack, and loads of it.


**This, pretty much my first ever Pokemon fanfic. Wrote it years ago and somehow managed to recover it fromt he pits of MS Word. Pardon any OOC or crude humor on my part here, all four parts of this four-shot (!?) were written on the fly when I was half-asleep. /fail**

**Characters in Order of appearance are: Steven, Wallace, Riley, Roark, Gardenia, Volkner & Flint. Pokemon's not mine; if it were my OTP'd be canon. =/**

"Your idea of a holiday and mine are two completely different things."

"Huh," remarked Wallace, looking up from the book he had been leafing through, setting the thick, leather-bound tome back onto Steven's desktop. The book's owner in question wasn't far off – Steven Stone stood a mere meter away from Wallace, arms intertwined across his chest and trying very desperately to persuade his best friend _not_ to come with on his 'vacation' to the Sinnoh region.

"You don't want me there, Steven?" Wallace joked, turning back in the chair he was seated in, raising an eyebrow at his frustrated friend. "How nasty of you, even after I agreed to take on the Champion's position for you, too…"

Steven spluttered a little, and his right arm twitched with the insane urge to slap at his own forehead. (It'd hurt. It'd hurt a lot. But still.)

"Wallace, are you trying to send me on a guilt trip?" he accused, pointing a finger at Hoenn's current Champion, a position Wallace had earned because Steven decided to give it up of his own accord. "You know very well and more than anybody that I didn't enjoy being Champion – and the title was yours to begin with, anyway!"

"True," Wallace said, shrugging and accepting defeat graciously. "But I had my own reasons for declining initially, you know."

Steven snorted, gray eyes flashing and his tone of voice literally bleeding with frustration. "Don't remind me. And besides, _why_ do you want to go on vacation with _me_ of all people again?"

Wallace twirled a strand of his wave-like blue hair around a finger, contemplating his reasons and weighing his very delicate odds. You'd think that Steven, of all people, would be more than welcome to take someone like Wallace along for some so-called holiday.

Wrong.

Wallace had gracefully barged into Steven's house early that morning, bringing along with him many questions for the ex-champion. Steven, gray hair frazzled – and probably still dressed in his pajamas at that time, Wallace realized – and appearing extremely disgruntled had told him that Glacia had been lying when she said he was heading off to Sinnoh. Unfortunately for him, Wallace had brought along proof (in the form of a cassette tape) – _"You guys are bored enough to tape every incoming call to the League!?" _– and Steven had no choice but to relent and admit that _yes, he __was__ going to Sinnoh._

"Do you understand how utterly boring it is over there?" Wallace gushed – and he knew Steven understood what he meant (the man had been through the same agonizing torture before, and he simply didn't understand how the Amazing Steven Stone managed to survive so long) so Wallace tried to appeal to his friend's better senses. "Day in, day out – not many a worthy challenger ever makes it past the Final Frontier. And Steven, I've been your best friend since forever. You and I have known each other ever since the day we first sat beside each other during the sign-ups for the Pokémon League, and -"

"Wallace," Steven managed through gritted teeth, pulling up a chair and sinking straight into it, "I would appreciate if you refrained from mentioning our first meeting. _It was embarrassing._ Stop trying to remind me of when I was younger."

"Being a Champion ages you," Wallace sighed dismally, resting his head in his arms and slumping onto Steven's desk. "Even _Glacia_ is developing wrinkles …" Wallace paused, catching the surprised expression that managed to slide onto Steven's facial features. "What? Don't act so innocent."

"No," Steven buried his face in his hands. "She'll _murder_ you if she found out you said that."

Wallace grimaced at the thought of an icicle piercing its glistening, crystalline self right through rather awkward parts of his anatomy. Not pretty. "Don't tell her I told you that."

"I won't. And the others aren't even _that_ old – what about Phoebe?"

"Did she ever tell you her age?"

"…No?"

"Well," Wallace sighed, "Believe it or not, she's _sixty_. She's been maintaining her youth and good looks because of this miracle pill thing she imports specially from Johto."

"Like hell I'll believe that," Steven retorted, and realized that the both of them had completely missed the point of today's heated conversation. "And no, you are still banned from following me."

"Why?" Wallace whined, secretly thinking himself too old to throw a tantrum but he was going to do so anyway. "I'm bored to _tears_ over there, I just got the OK for a paid leave, and you're my _best friend_. In conclusion, you _should_ let me go."

Steven sighed, watching as the early morning breeze played with the light-colored curtain he had draped over a nearby window, the fluttering fabric allowing pale beams of light to stream through, dappling the hardwood floor. The heat – and he had just barely _started_ the day – was already getting to him, his gray hair was already clinging onto his neck because of all the sweat, and above all, Steven Stone was just flat-out _tired_. He hadn't retired from being a Champion just to be bugged by Wallace.

"Okay," Steven relented. "And you're paying for your own expenses," he added hastily, when Wallace's expression literally brightened almost immediately. "And go pack _now_ - the boat leaves this afternoon."

Wallace laughed, peeling himself off the surface of the desk and leaning over, clapping Steven on the back. "I knew you'd see the light," he remarked –_"What light?"_ – then leant back in his chair again, raising an eyebrow as his cerulean eyes surveyed Steven intently. The other man fidgeted uncomfortably under his roving gaze.

"…What?"

Wallace looked up from his 'Ideal Contemplation Pose' (consisting of a slightly tilted head and a hand at his chin), and arched an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you _still_ in your pajamas?"

"That was uncalled for," Steven protested vehemently. "You intruded onto private property, near _broke down _my door to get in, woke me up, and then proceeded to argue about my vacation. Did you think that I had the time to change at _all_?"

"C'est la vie," Wallace answered cheekily, and a muscle under Steven's right eye twitched.

Maybe he _had_ woken up on the wrong side of bed that morning.

"Wallace, I will chop off your head, stick it on one of my Beldum, and send it flying around Sootopolis."

"Ooh, _nasty_."

"Hello?"

"Ah, great, the connection onboard is working," Steven muttered into his PokeNav. "Hello, Riley? Can you hear me?"

Over on the other end of the line, Riley, his navy blue hair swept about in almost every direction by the salty wind near Canalave's port, was trying desperately to keep his fedora from completely flying off his head. He was standing by the docking bay, dressed in the same proper blue suit as ever, having just gotten off the boat that had brought him all the way back from Iron Island.

Riley winced at the sudden rush of static over the line when Steven spoke, the harsh sound grating at his ears. A Wingull uttered an ominous cry overhead.

"Yes. Yes, I can hear you," Riley had to shout over the sound of crashing waves, as the wind increased in intensity, howling and winding through the paved streets of the city. "Where are you now?"

"Onboard," Steven replied, then shot a cautious glance at Wallace, who was standing beside him and by the rails of the ship. "Is it okay if I brought another person along?"

Riley chuckled, his blue eyes roving the scenery of Canalave, searching for the prominent building that stood out as the Gym of this city. "I'm sure Roark wouldn't mind. The more the merrier, he would say. But are you sure your friend is up for this?"

Steven let his gray eyes rest themselves on Wallace's graceful features. The man was currently immersed in teaching his Luvdisc about sea currents. Steven sighed, turning his attention back to Riley. "Who knows? He insisted on coming."

"I'll go inform Roark. How long will it take you to arrive?"

"About fifteen minutes?" Steven estimated, counting down the hours he had spent on the ship with his fingers. "This ship left Slateport about two hours ago, and Sinnoh isn't very far off from Hoenn."

"Great," Riley murmured, his voice lost amidst the wailing wind. "I'll give Roark a call. But if he doesn't pick up, you're in charge of explaining the new arrival to him."

Steven raised an eyebrow. How troublesome. "Why don't you call Byron now? I'm sure he has more than one way to get ahold of Roark."

Riley laughed. Steven and Byron were something of old acquaintances – Byron had met Steven on a mining trip to Dewford in Hoenn sometime back, and the two had hit it off immediately: one being a digger, another being next to obsessed with rocks, and to top it all off, both of them happened to be experts in Steel type Pokémon. Then when Steven came over to Sinnoh to check out the Battle Tower, Byron had introduced him to Riley, who in turn introduced him to Roark (who just happened to be visiting his father at the time). _Rock maniacs, all of them._

"If it's got to do with Byron, I can't. I don't think he wants me around the Gym for today."

"Huh. Why so?"

"Well…" Riley grinned sheepishly on his end of the line, even though he knew Steven couldn't see he expression. "It's a long story. A very long story. Let's just say something of an accident happened to one of his electronic lift-platforms. Repairs and all take time. The Gym almost exploded."

"Good grief," Steven muttered. "You can't trust technology. You just can't."

Riley sighed. "Believe me, I know."

Wallace stepped off the ship, his footfalls light on the smooth, weathered wood that was the sturdy docking point of Canalave. He had brought along next to no luggage at all along with him, save for his usual team of Pokémon – Steven had already very nicely informed him that his house in the Resort Area had more than sufficient supplied for the both of them.

Steven followed close behind him, slowly taking in the refreshing sights of Canalave city. He loved the place – so close to the sea, so very much like his hometown, Mossdeep city. Only more urbanized and with a very well-renowned library instead of a Space Center.

"Wallace," Steven said, leaning forward and tapping his sightseeing friend on the shoulder. Wallace turned around, shooting him a questioning look. "If you see anyone sporting a fedora around these parts, tell me."

"You arranged for a guide?"

Steven pondered about how exactly Riley could be considered a 'guide'. The man wasn't even going to accompany them up till Eterna Forest. "He's just here to roughly show us the way. He doesn't really like venturing out of this city."

"Are you sure he's not an ancient entity banned from leaving?" Wallace remarked, standing on tip-toes and surveying the well-crafted buildings in the distance. His eyes immediately fell to land on the tall, grandiose structure that was the Canalave city's Gym. "Oh, there's a Gym here?"

"It's undergoing repairs," Steven warned. "Don't you _dare_ try anything like challenging Byron, the Gym Leader."

Wallace sighed, then seemed to perk up as he pointed to someone behind Steven. "You're no fun. And – oh, hey, is that him?"

"Who?" Steven whirled around, eyes running a quick scan of the area. "Oh, hello, Riley. Long time no see."

Riley waved in greeting, approaching the duo. The wind had thankfully calmed down within the short period of time he had escaped into the nearby Pokémon Center to give Roark a call. "And who might this be?" he asked politely, gesturing at Wallace and eyeing Steven questioningly.

"Wallace, this is Riley. And Riley – Wallace is the friend I was telling you about over the line on the ship."

Riley contemplated sweeping his navy-blue hat off his head and actually bowing, but decided against the rather retarded notion. Instead, he extended a hand, smiling at Wallace welcomingly. "Nice to meet you, Wallace."

Wallace grasped Riley's outstretched hand, shaking it rather enthusiastically and returning a warm smile of his own. "Likewise."

Steven could've sworn those two were sparkling for a moment back there.

_How horrifying,_ Steven thought to himself, tiredly. He'd already had his fair share of weirdness for the day, and didn't have the will to stomach more. "So, Riley," he turned to the man, who had already moved on to smoothening out the creases in his ever-immaculate suit, and was frowning at the Pokeball resting on his belt. Riley looked up at the sound of Steven's voice, surprised. "Did Roark give his consent?"

Riley couldn't suppress a wry little smile at Wallace. "You know, Wallace, are you really up for investigating a rock? There are only two other people I know besides dear Steven here who would love to give up a good portion of their lives to dedicate themselves to studying such things. Are you one of them?"

Wallace laughed. The idea of Steven setting aside time just to visit a rock from another region seemed all too possible, really. "No, not really. I'm here because I want to escape the duties of the Pokémon League for awhile. It's really boring there, you see."

"You're a member of the Elite Four?" Riley raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Steven waved away Riley's question, interjecting. "He's the rightful Champion. I told you already that I wasn't fit for that position, Riley."

Riley snorted, crossing both arms across his chest. "Nonsense. You are every bit an amazing trainer. Wallace, you agree with me, don't you?"

"Of course!" Wallace exclaimed.

Steven went ahead with the idea and slapped his forehead in exasperation. Riley and Wallace were hitting it off better than he thought.

"…Which reminds me," Riley's clear voice cut through Steven's train of thought like a sharp knife. "Roark'll meet you guys around 2p.m. at the end of Eterna Forest closest to the city. Make sure you have your lunch first. I'm really sorry I can't stick around anymore – I need to head off to Iron Island."

"Iron Island?" Steven wondered out loud. "What business do you have there?"

Riley grimaced. "Business with the Gym Leader."

"Oh, alright. Thanks for the help with contacting Roark and everything," Steven said, and Riley ran off towards the direction of a sailor, who was standing beside a boat somewhere behind them. The blue haired youth turned around, giving Wallace and Steven a little departing wave.

"Oh, and be careful," Riley warned, just as he was clambering into the boat. "I heard things have been really weird recently around that chateau in the forest. No matter what, I don't think you should go in there."

**To be Continued.**


End file.
